Crypto,  Defi

How to Buy Meme Coins on Ethereum/Uniswap

So, you wanna be a big dick baller and make a bag from jumping on the latest hype coin trend.

After seeing some random twitter users turn a few hundred bucks in to tens, or hundreds of thousands of dollars, you decided you want to get your own piece of that shitcoin pie.

With dreams of financial freedom, you gather up some wagie bucks and prepare to set sail on your altcoin adventure to find that treasure chest of digital gold… there’s just one problem.

You don’t know how. 

Maybe you’ve played around with buying and selling some crypto on a normie exchange like Binance or Coinbase, but you have no idea what all this “Uniswap” or “DEX” shit is you keep hearing about.

Rejoice, fren. No need to worry.

This post is going to teach you how to start playing the shitcoin casino as quickly as possible, without getting your entire wallet rugged in the process by doing something stupid.

In writing this, I’m going to assume you have zero idea how to navigate crypto outside of buying and selling on major exchanges. 

We’ll be starting at square one. 

That means setting up a wallet, sending coins off exchange, connecting to decentralized exchanges, making sure you’re interacting with the correct contract for the coin you want, etc.

So, with that, let’s get started.

Buying and Selling Crypto Meme Coins on Decentralized Exchanges

Pick Your Fiat On/Off Ramp

In order to extract your riches from the meme coin casino, you’re going to have to get money into decentralized land.

The easiest way to do this is to have an account with Coinbase or Binance.US, assuming you live in the United States. 

If you live in another country then use whatever major exchange is available to you. 

The entire point of having this account is simply to move money between the fiat world and crypto land. 

It’s just a bridge you use to cross between financial systems.

There is also the option to link paypal or a credit card to your metamask wallet, but not in a million years would I do that. 

Trust me, just set up an account at a major exchange if you haven’t already. 

It’ll be well worth it once you’re ready to take some of those crypto gains and turn them into real world money.

It’s a pretty simple process to set up an account and get started. 

My personal choice is Binance.US, just because I like their interface better. 

The Coinbase Pro trading interface is dog shit, in my opinion.

One thing to keep in mind is that there will be a holding period for any funds you deposit onto an exchange, typically between 7-14 days.

They do this to make sure they don’t get ripped off by someone depositing funds, moving the money off exchange, and then cancelling the transaction with their bank.

This is why I always leave some money on exchange as a buffer. 

If you have $2000 sitting on exchange at all times, then you can deposit up to $2000 at any time and immediately move it off exchange. 

If you fuck them over by doing what I described above, they’ll simply confiscate your money on the exchange to cover your scamming ways.

And you don’t have to hold that buffer money in cash, it can be $2k worth of Bitcoin, Ethereum, or any other coin. 

It also doesn’t have to be $2000, that was just an example.

Now that you have an account set up with a tier 1 exchange, it’s time to set up a Metamask wallet so you can interact with decentralized protocols, and do the degen shit you came here to do.

Setting Up Your Metamask

You may be wondering, “What is Metamask?”.

Metamask is a wallet that holds your private keys, or seed phrase, which allows you to interact with different blockchains like Ethereum.

It’s what’s known as a “hot wallet”, because it is internet enabled, which allows you to interact with applications online.

This makes them extremely useful, but less secure than a cold wallet.

For long term storage you should be using a cold wallet, but that’s another post.

When it comes to Metamask you have two options.

You can either use the chrome browser extension, or you can use the mobile app. 

There are other wallets you could use, such as the Brave browser wallet, but for this how-to we’ll stick to Metamask.

My assumption is that most people finding this guide will be opting for the mobile app version, so that’s what I’ll focus on. 

If you use the desktop version, it all pretty much works the same.

To get started, just go to the app store and download the Metamask mobile wallet.

Once you download and open the application, you’ll be asked if you want to create a new wallet, or restore a wallet. 

Click on “create new wallet”. 

Next, you’ll be shown your “seed phrase”, which is a series of 12 words in sequential order. 

Now PAY ATTENTION, this is extremely important.

This string of random words are the keys to the safe that is your Metamask wallet. 

If anything ever happens to your phone, like you lose it or break it, this seed phrase can be used to recover the wallet, and all of your crypto in it, on a new device.

However, if someone else gets ahold of your seed phrase, they’ll also have unlimited access to your wallet. 

Basically, you’re fucked if that happens.

Likewise, if you need to restore your wallet, but don’t have your seed phrase, the wallet will be unrecoverable, along with all the crypto in it.

That’s why it’s crucial that you write your seed phrase down on a piece of paper, and store it somewhere safe.

I keep a copy of my seed phrases under lock and key in multiple locations. 

DO NOT keep a copy of your seed phrase in a note on your phone, that’s just asking to have your shit stolen.

So, now that you have your seed phrase written down, you’ll click next and then you’ll be asked to input the seed phrase back into the wallet, to make sure you have it correct.

Once that’s done, congratulations, you now have an active wallet that’s almost ready to jump into decentralized protocols.

Funding Your Wallet

Now that you have a Metamask wallet, it’s time to send some Ethereum to it.

To do that, you’ll need your public address. 

To find it, click on the Ethereum wallet in your metamask, as seen in the pic below.

How to buy meme crypto coins

Tapping that will bring up your Ethereum wallet.

Once it’s open, you’ll tap on “Receive”, as shown below.

This will bring up your public address, as well as a QR code that is linked your wallet.

Both are a unique identifier for your wallet, and your wallet only.

This is what you would give your friend if they wanted to send you some Ethereum, and it’s what you’ll paste into the “Address” box when you send your Ethereum from your centralized exchange account into your metamask wallet.

Go ahead and click “Copy” to save your public address to the clipboard.

Now go into your exchange app, and if you haven’t already bought some Ethereum, do that now.

Open your Ethereum wallet on your exchange, for this guide I’ll be using Binance as an example, and click “Withdraw”.

That will send you to a page where you need to input the address you want to send the Ethereum to. 

So, go back to your Metamask and tap on your public address to copy it to your phone’s clipboard if you haven’t already, then jump back into Binance and paste it into the address field.

The “Continue” button will light up once your address is pasted into the recipient field.

While, you’re at it, make sure you have the Ethereum network selected in the top dropdown menu. 

If you accidentally select something else, you’ll attempt to send Ethereum to a non eth address, and the tokens will just be gone forever, and you’ll be really pissed off. 

Once you’ve input your address, hit continue to go to the next page and select how much to send, then hit preview. 

After you confirm the preview, if you have 2 factor authentication turned on, which you absolutely should, you’ll get a text with a one-time code. 

After putting that code in, a confirmation will be sent to whatever email account you used to set up your exchange account with, and you’ll need to click the link to authorize the transfer of funds.

Once you’ve done that, just kick back and wait for your funds to arrive in your Metamask wallet.

How to Use Uniswap

If you’re going to try making it big in the shitcoin casino, you’ll most likely be using Uniswap to buy and sell these wonderous future global currencies that definitely aren’t vaporware…

But seriously, if you’re going to play the shitcoin casino, don’t get married to your bags.

90% of them are just a game of hot potato.

And with that piece of sage wisdom out of the way, let’s get you all schooled up on how to use Uniswap.

First, I’m going to walk you through the mechanics of using it to make transactions, then I’ll show you how you can use it safely by avoiding some simple mistakes.

To get started, open up your Metamask and look at the bottom right corner, you should see a “Browser” button. 

Tap on that and you’ll be presented with a search engine page that will look something like this.

Next, you’ll type in “uniswap.org” and hit the “go” button.

It’s important to make sure the search result you click on has the url spelled correctly.

Scammers make fake sites with the most common typos of the uniswap.org url, that look exactly like the real site. 

If you connect your wallet to one of these scam sites and authorize them for transactions, they’ll likely drain your wallet of every penny before you realize what went wrong.

Don’t let that scare you away from this whole thing, just make sure to be diligent.

Once you’re on the uniswap website, you’ll hit “Launch App” which at the time of this writing is a pink button with white letters. 

Once you see this screen, go ahead and hit the “Connect” button in the top right corner. 

You’ll see a menu pop up, and when you do, just tap on the metamask icon.

An alert will then pop up on screen asking if you want to authorize uniswap.org to transact with your wallet, and you’ll tap on “Connect” to confirm.

You’ve just connected to your first decentralized protocol.

Very exciting day for you.

If your wallet successfully connected, it should look something like the pic below, with a set of icons up where the “connect” button was just a few moments ago.

Now you’ll just select “ETH” in the top dropdown menu, which is what you will be sending, and paste the contract address of whatever token you want to get in return, into the bottom dropdown menu.

Then hit “Swap”, approve the transaction, and wait for it to finalize. 

You’re now officially an active member of defi. 

Congrats on your newfound degen status.

I know that last part about “pasting contract addresses” was probably a little confusing, which is why in the next section we’ll be covering that.

How to Navigate Defi Crypto Tokens

Now that you know how to make trades on Uniswap, or any other decentralized exchange, it’s important to know how to find contract addresses, as well as make sure you’re trading for the right token.

For this example, let’s use Shiba Inu ($SHIB) as our meme coin you want to buy a bag of.

Assuming you already know the cash tag ($SHIB in this case. Make sure to leave off the “$” when typing into search outside of twitter), you want to go to Coin Gecko, Coin Marketcap, or Dex Screener, depending on where the coin is listed.

Coin Gecko and Coin Marketcap are both very similar services, they just sometimes have different coins in their database.

Dex Screener is what I use for newer coins, typically with much smaller market caps, that haven’t been picked up by one of the bigger services yet.

Just try typing the cash tag into the search bar.

If nothing comes up, try one of the other services.

What these services do is they give you all the relevant info on the coin you’re looking at, including:

  • Number of coins in circulation
  • Max number of coins
  • Market cap
  • Fully Diluted Value
  • Market Rank
  • Contract Address

And a whole lot more, including charts.

What we’re concerned with right now is the contract address.

All that other stuff is important, but that’s another post for another time.

This write up is strictly about how to navigate decentralized exchanges and buy coins, not how to analyze if a coin is a good buy or not.

So, once you’ve found the correct project, you should be able to scroll down and see “Contract address”.

Click on the little copy symbol to copy the address to your clipboard. 

Now jump into uniswap and tap on “Select Token” then paste the contract address into the field for the token you want to receive.

After you’ve done that, select the amount of Ethereum you want to swap for the desired token (SHIB in this example) and hit swap.

If for some reason you’re unsure if you have the right contract address or not, jump on twitter and find the official twitter account for the project.

There they will have a link to the official site or a link to one of the screener services we discussed just a moment ago. 

That way you can be sure you are interacting with the correct token contract.

Dealing With Slippage In Defi

Slippage is something you’ll have to become familiar with when using decentralized exchanges that utilize liquidity pools.

I’ll write a post on what liquidity pools are at a later time and link it here.

For now, just know that slippage is essentially how far you’re willing to let the price move against you to buy the coins you want.

If you’re familiar with trading traditional stocks, or buying crypto on centralized exchanges, just think of it sort of like a limit buy order.

If a stock is trading at $10, and you set your limit buy order at $13, then you’re willing to buy the stock up to 30% above the current marked price.

It’s not a perfect analogy because in liquidity pools there is no order book, but it’s good enough for our purposes here.

So, if you set your slippage to 7%, which is a common requirement for the transaction to not fail for many coins, you’re willing to accept the possibility of paying up to 7% higher than the current price for the coins you’re about to buy.

To adjust slippage, tap on the gear.

This will open a menu where you can adjust your slippage percentage.

Luckily, Uniswap will pop up with an alert if your slippage is set too low and the transaction is expected to fail.

What I do is set my slippage to 1% and try to make the swap.

If I get the “expected to fail” alert, I’ll just incrementally increase the slippage % by 2 and try again until it works.

I can’t recall a time I’ve ever went past 9% on Uniswap.

I’m pretty sure I went higher trading some goofy shit on Pancakeswap on the BNB chain though.

Gas Fees on Ethereum

There’s one last thing we need to cover before getting into using defi safely.

That thing is gas fees.

Gas fees are the cost to process transactions on the Ethereum network.

Unlike centralized exchanges, where there is a standard fee per trade, gas fees will vary depending on how busy the network is.

These days, gas fees are pretty reasonable.

I remember back during defi summer when a single transaction would cost hundreds of dollars.

Fortunately, the Ethereum upgrade helped a lot with that issue.

Still, you’ll want to check how much gas fees are going to be for every trade, because you need to leave some Ethereum in your wallet in order to cover the gas fees for trades.

This is where the gas fees will be displayed.

I always try to leave at least $100 in Ethereum just chilling in any Metamask wallet so I can cover my sells in the future.

If you use every last bit of Eth to buy coins, once it’s time to sell you’ll have to send more Eth to your wallet in order to cover the gas fees to make those sells.

Don’t get yourself trapped in a coin that’s dumping because you didn’t have enough funds free to close the trade at a moments notice.

Staying Safe While Shitcoining

One of the biggest dangers of defi is making a mistake and having your funds stolen. 

Luckily, as long as you’re diligent, you shouldn’t have any problem keeping your shekels in your wallet where they belong.

But I really can’t stress this enough, you need to make sure you don’t get complacent. 

Crypto is still sort of the wild west, which means we have the opportunity to make life changing money with a relatively small initial investment, but it also means that there are bandits lurking everywhere trying to exploit newbies.

I don’t want you to be one of those marks.

Never Follow Links from Twitter

This doesn’t just apply to twitter, it applies to the entire internet, including discord and telegram channels.

If you follow some random twitter anons link to uniswap, thinking you’re buying the hottest meme coin like “$PEPE”, it could be a fake contract that they’ve made to look like “$PEPE” and once you authorize it to interact with your wallet, it could siphon your funds, or give you back some useless token. 

That’s why it’s so important to copy contract addresses only from a screening site or the official website, which can typically be found through the official twitter account for the token.

A good way to know that a twitter account is the actual, official account, is by checking who follows it. 

If you’ve been following lots of good accounts on crypto twitter (if you’re not, you’re missing out) then you should see a handful of them already following the project. 

The page will also often have thousands or tens of thousands of followers. 

Copycat accounts that scammers make to appear as the official page usually have very few followers, often less than 1000.

If you’re at all familiar with twitter you should be able to quickly discern which page is the real deal.

You can also search the cash tag on twitter and find the official page that way.

This advice goes double for places like telegram and discord. 

Those places have some of the best information you can find when hunting down new tokens to get in on early, but there’s also untold numbers of scammers waiting to rob you blind.

If you’re going to interact with a contract address someone sent you, you better have a damn good relationship with them and trust them.

Don’t Get Caught by the Phisherman

Something that seems to get a lot of newbies in trouble is getting tricked by fake customer service bots on twitter. 

The one I remember most, was for a while if you even mentioned metamask in a tweet, you’d get an auto generated tweet response from what appeared to be a metamask customer service agent. 

If you followed the link and connected your wallet, POOF, your money was gone.

Another one is people will get an email or direct message from a fake account posing as their centralized exchange.

If they followed the link and put in their username and password, the scammers then had their credentials and would go login on the real exchange and steal all of their money.

I’ve seen far too many posts on twitter from people who lost it all because of a mistake like that. 

As I said before, it’s crucial to be diligent when panning for gold in the shitcoin swamp.

Like I suggested with finding legit token contracts, you can always go to the official uniswap twitter account and follow the link there to ensure you’re ending up at the correct page. 

Protect Your Keys with Your Life

When it comes to crypto, your private keys (seed phrase) are your most precious possession. 

I know, I know… I already covered this earlier in this post, but I’m addressing it again because it’s so damn important.

If anyone ever asks you for your private keys, they are not to be trusted. 

Even legit customer support should never ask for your private keys. 

Again, if someone gets ahold of your private keys, they can open the metamask app, restore your wallet on their device and then send all of your coins to their own wallet that only they control. 

This is like the golden rule of crypto… NEVER GIVE ANYONE YOUR PRIVATE KEYS!

Disconnect When You’re Done Trading

One thing I always do, and always advise my friends to do, is to disconnect your wallet from all exchanges and marketplaces when you’re done buying and selling.

This is a good practice to get in the habit of doing to protect yourself, just in case one of the platforms you use gets hacked.

As an example, if hackers get access to an nft marketplace, and your wallet is connected to it, there’s a chance the scammers could interact with your wallet and steal your precious nfts. 

It only takes a few seconds to disconnect your wallet from external protocols, so just get into the habit of doing it from the start. 

To disconnect metamask, you can disconnect from within the platform interfact, or in your wallet settings. 

To disconnect form Uniswap, tap on the symbol shown below.

That will bring up a menu with an on/off button.

Just tap that and you’ll be disconnected from Uniswap.

If you’re on another platform and having a hard time figuring out how to disconnect, you can just go into your metamask settings > security and privacy > clear privacy data.

By clearing privacy data, you will revoke all permissions from external protocols. 

The next time you want to trade again, you’ll simply have to re approve permissions in metamask.

It’s a simple process that will keep you safe.

Concludere

This post isn’t a definitive, all-encompassing guide to defi.

That would take many posts to cover.

This is simply a quick start guide to get you going on the right track, so that you can gain some confidence and experience navigating this world of crypto. 

In my opinion, and this is not financial advice, crypto is the “easiest” and fastest opportunity the average person has to make real life changing money.

But don’t get into this crypto thing thinking it’ll be a get rich quick situation. 

A few people have gotten lucky and made millions on their first or second coin… but that probably won’t be you.

You’ll have to get in the trenches and put in the work to find your pot of gold.

However, if you have the determination and the right mindset, this space can be extremely rewarding.

So, get out there and start grinding.

Until next time, 

Fractal

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